Monday, March 26, 2012

Rooted

Last night, I spent some time talking to a cool guy.  We really hit it off (something I'll talk about more in another post) and spent a lot of time flirting.  Alas, we also determined that we live more than hour hours away from each other.  That's not a total deal-breaker, and we're still going to talk and have even talked about the possibility of meeting.  But I do find myself wondering how much I should emotionally invest in things, given the distance.  After all, I'm not sure I'm interested in relocating for any guy (hey, I'll do it for the right guy, but he'd really have to be the right guy).  And of course, given that I'm not all that thrilled at the thought of moving for a guy, I really don't expect a guy to move for me (even though the likelihood of me being the right guy is pretty damn high).

This is actually rather interesting to me.  It's quite a development.  You see, less than a decade ago, I would've seriously considered moving for a guy if there seemed to be even a chance we would hit it off and fall in love.  Part of that is probably because back then I was (more) desperate.  However, I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm established here now and have a sense of belonging.  In effect I have roots.

Now I have friends I don't want to leave.  I have a coven I don't want to walk away from.  I have responsibilities and people here who count on me and on whom I rely.  Walking away from all that for a guy would be something of a sacrifice.  But that's something I've developed over the past six to seven years.  I've made friends.  I've developed relationships.  In effect, I've put down roots and made a life for me here.

It's a bit of a surprise to fully realize this.  But I rather like it.