Meh

I think I've been a bit down the last week or so.  We're not talking massive depression or anything too serious.  Just enough to impact my motivation.  I think part of me may just need a day or two off, where I do absolutely nothing.  Except I hate days like that, too.  At the end, I feel like I did absolutely nothing.  So I guess what I really need is a couple days off, followed by a day or two of fun and excitement.  Or maybe the other way around.  At any rate, I feel like I need something of a reboot right now.

In many ways, I wish that it was May already.  I'm planning a trip to Toronto in May.  I'll be there for a weekend.  What's more, I'll be going there to attend a conference, which should be a lot of fun.  I'll get to meet people, both complete strangers and people I've talked ot online for years (but have not yet met in person).  It sounds like just the thing I need right now.  Which is why it's so frustrating that the darn thing is over two months away still.

The meeting people thing is part of what I really need, too.  I feel like I'm stagnating, socially.  Or worse, I'm slippng backward.  I mean, now that Management and his partner are no longer running a restaurant and they're busy in their own lives, I don't talk to them much.  I tend to only go out to Home Bar at particular times, when the crowd is extremely small.  So I'm seeing people, but not making any new connections.  I don't feel that going to Home Bar when it's busier is an option, because the place has two modes operation.  It's either slow with a couple regulars (most whom work there) or it's packed, noisy, and way too chaotic.

I'm considering going back to the one cofee shop more.  I quit going there because I didn't feel I really met anyone there.  That's mainly because most people go there with others and I find it weird intimidating to walk up to a group of people I don't know and break into their conversation or start up one of my own.

That lack of contact, and the resulting feeling that I'm not meeting anyone new and therefore can't expand my social circles (and yes, eventually meet someone I can date and build a relationship with along the way) is something of a motivational drain right now.  So that's another part of why I'm down.

I know I'll break out of this funk soon.  I'll find a way.  But right now, it's just frustrating to me.

Weekend update and meeting people.

I had a fairly enjoyable weekend.  I decided not to go out Friday or Saturday night, figuring that I would enjoy some quiet time at home, rather than pushing through the crowds at Home Bar.  Besides, I'm really doubting whether going to Home Bar on Saturday nights is really the best use of my time.  I certainly enjoy seeing all the people I know there.  But at the same time, I'm not sure I'm meeting anyone new anymore, which is a bit of a concern.

Speaking of meeting new people, I read some great advice on another blog last week that applies to the topic and I found helpful.  The advice made it clear that it would be best if I (and others) set the goal to meet new people and not make new friends.  In fact, the advice the blogger gave is if you introduce yourself and strike up a conversation and the other person asks why, tell them simply, "I'm trying to meet different people."  The idea -- which makes sense to me -- is that saying you're looking for friends can come off as putting on too much pressure.  Whereas if you present yourself as merely wanting to meet people, it's quite simple.

I like this because meeting people is easy.  A brief conversation over nothing major -- even the weather -- is a finite, achievable goal.  And yeah, while I might want one of those conversations to develop into something more lasting and interesting, it enables me to seek out a mass quantity of contacts without putting too much hope into any one particular conversation.

In other ways, the advice was quite reaffirming, as it offered specific conversation starters that pretty much mirrored things I've already been doing.  The big example they gave was telling someone they like their outfit.  I'll often comment on a piece of jewelry someone is wearing or a visible tattoo.  And it's reaffirming to know that others figure that such simple interactions could conceivably lead to further conversations.

So I guess I just have to keep doing what I'm doing (though maybe pick a different venue or two) and let things happen when they happen.