Promising conversations

I've been talking to a new guy online the past couple of evenings.  On Monday, he contacted me out of the blue and started up a conversation.  It's been going pretty well.  Have you ever had one of those connections with someone where the conversation floats easily and freely from talking about family to dinner plans to sexual fantasies to movies?  That's what our conversations have been like.

Something like this would be nice.

Granted, there's been a lot of talk about sexual fantasies.  The thing is, the two of us seem to be quite compatible in that department, we have many complementary interests and are each open to the things the other is into even when it's not something we already share in common.  So the moment of truth will come this weekend, which is likely the first time we will meet in person.  (Yes, Colorful is probably going to get his freak on the first meeting.  I'd say shame on me, but I have no shame.)

I'll admit that this is a nice relief for me, as this guy actually seems to be genuinely interested in me, as opposed to "whoever is available."  Given the tendency I've had for running into guys who are better described as seeing me as merely "a convenient piece of ass," it's a nice change.  It will also speak to some of my recent frustrations.

I've been turning down a lot of those other guys lately.  I've been saying "No" a lot.  And while I'm convinced that each time I made the right choice by saying "no," it doesn't change the fact that it also means that I've been letting certain needs I have go unanswered.  And when I don't see any better options -- options in the form of guys and attention I know I want and deserve -- it gets pretty frightening to hold onto my resolve rather than settling and getting whatever I can.

I don't know what will happen with this new guy.  For all I know, things will fall through and we won't be able to meet.  If we do meet, it could end up being a one-time thing.  Or it could be a whirlwind relationship, or something that will last longer.  All I know right now is that it's something better, something that gives me hope for something better.  And just allowing me that bit of hope -- even if it proves not to be totally founded -- makes this experience a welcome one.