Happy to be canceled on

I was supposed to have a date tonight, but the guy contacted me and told me that he had to work instead.  In many ways, I'm rather relieved by this, as I was having my doubts about this date.  In some ways he seemed way too needy and clingy while we conversed online.  For example, when he originally asked me if I wanted to have dinner back on Saturday, I said I would be available Tuesday or Wednesday evening.  As the conversation progressed, he asked if there was any chance I'd be free on Sunday.  I told him that I already had plans.  Personally, I would have thought that would have been obvious from the fact that I didn't include Sunday in my list of days that would work for me.  So that right there struck me as a boundary violation of the "I want you to rearrange your life to suit my needs" variety.

When I hear this guy in my
head, it's time to rethink a date.

Then when he reconfirmed that I was still planning on going out with him, he said something about meeting at the Mexican restaurant I recommended and then going back to his place "for dessert."  Now, don't get me wrong, I've had sex with a guy on the first date before.  I've also done the casual sex thing as well.  I'm not opposed to moving things that fast.  But after the whole "can't you meet me on a day other than the ones you've already indicated you're free on" bit, that somehow didn't sit well with me.  It seemed to me like the fact that we would have sex was a foregone conclusion.  And bear in mind, we've only ever talked online.  Even when I do agree to meet someone specifically for the purpose of having sex, I like to have the sense that I can get there, re-examine how I feel about the situation, and even change my mind if it comes to that.  I felt like this guy wasn't going to give me that option and try some high-pressure tactics (which has happened to me in the past) to keep me committed to having sex with him.

So I told him honestly that I'd rather just plan on meeting for dinner and see how that goes before making any definite plans about "dessert."  He said okay, and that was the end of the conversation for the evening.  But the whole experience still bothered me.

When I woke up this morning, I had pretty much decided that unless it was a fantastic date -- and I came close to canceling even the date myself -- there pretty much wasn't going to be any sexual conduct.  I also decided I'd make sure we "went dutch" on dinner so there wouldn't be any sense of "owing" him if he paid for my food.

But then I got his message around noon, and it resolved the whole issue.  He didn't indicate whether he wants to reschedule.  If he does try to reschedule, I'll have to decide if I really want to, given my misgivings.  But in the meantime, I can enjoy a peaceful night of cartoons and reading.