Owning my emotions

One of the things I'm proud about with regards to Friday night is that I owned my emotions.  I was able to acknowledge that I was frustrated because of the guy that's disappeared and Sweet Cynic.  I didn't pretend that what they had done to me didn't bothers me.  And yet, at the same time, I also didn't make them responsible for how I was feeling.  I even took care -- and I admit this took a small amount of conscious effort -- to avoid the phrase "make me."  They didn't make me feel anything.  Yes, I felt things because of their actions, things that consisted of a natural response to a couple of guys being jackasses.  But in the end, those feelings were my own and generated by me, not them.  And that's not only okay, but healthy and good.

I experience them all
and they're all mine.

Of course, the other part of owning my emotions was my decision on what to do about them.  I didn't really feel like sitting in my frustrations and stewing in them.  So I figured out what I needed to do to introduce new feelings into the mix last night.  I didn't sit there expecting either guy to "fix" whatever had me upset.  Instead, I decided that I would have more fun, enjoy myself, and be happy if I got dressed and headed out to have a good time.

I didn't repress how I was feeling.  When I got to Home Bar, I was still pretty grumpy, and told Management as much (and why).  That's normal too.  Trying to ignore how I feel wouldn't be owning my emotions either.  But I also remained open to feeling differently.  So as I got chatting with friends and enjoying the music that was playing (and enjoying a Captain and Coke), new feelings emerged.  I enjoyed them, and the frustration and anger, while still there, slipped into the background.

And that is how it's done.