Memories of a Former Friend

So the past couple nights, I've been having weird dreams about someone who used to be in my life, Hot Pants.[1]  I don't remember much about the dreams (I'm not sure that there was actually more than one), just that they featured Hot Pants in some way or another.  This has had the side effect, however, of causing me to think aboout him.  Thinking about Hot Pants is never a fun or desirable experience.

I haven't heard from him since back in March when I posted an ad on Craigslist[2] and he unwittingly responded to it.  Yep, at the time he had been in a relationship with another guy for three months at that point, had even been talking about what a great time he was having with this guy, and I caught him trying to cheat.  Not that this is a shocker, mind you.  Hot Pants cheats on guys he claims he "loves" almost as frequently as he lies.[3]

Before that, I hadn't talked to him since November, where I flat out told him that the only way I'd even consider giving him another chance as a friend was if he made a public confession of all his lies and games.  Of course, this was unacceptable to Hot Pants, as keeping people unaware of his web of deceit is central to his goal of using people at every opportunity, so he announced that I "wasn't even worth being an associate of."  Ouch.  Burn.  The narcissist and compulsive liar didn't want to be my friend anymore.  I cried for about thirteen nanoseconds and then got over it.

Besides, Hot Pants indirectly did one thing for me for which I will always be grateful.  He helped me reach the absolute low that I needed to hit to wake up, recognize my codependency, and get help for it.  In short, he's the reason I was only with Snuggly Bear for three and a half weeks rather than trying to hold onto a doomed relationship and drive myself to ruin trying to make things work out.

So perhaps it's not such a horrible thing to be thinking of Hot Pants right now.  Perhaps rather than revisiting how selfish he is and all the ways that he hurt me and fretting that he's still "under my skin," perhaps I can focus on that gratitude that through all his shit, I managed to start the healing and growing process.

Who knows, maybe I'll even raise a glass to Hot Pants and his rather unique way of helping me become a better person later this evening.  wouldn't that be a kicker?

Notes:
[1]  Good news!  The score card has been updated.

[2]  Yes, I do Craigslist and a few other "slutty" things from time to time.  I'm a human being.  I have needs.  I do what I feel will meet those needs.  Any questions?

[3]  Incidentally, that's why I gave him the code name "Hot Pants."