Erotic stories, readers, and relating to them both.

Notice:  Frank discussion of sex and masturbation ahead.

I've mentioned briefly in the past that I write erotic fiction.  Or call them sex stories.  Or call them porn.  I'm sure different people would classify some of my stories as each of those things.  It's something that I enjoy writing.  It's a fun and interesting way to explore my own fantasies and desires.  It's something that helped me during the coming out process in my early twenties.  And sometimes, it's a good outlet for sexual frustrations.  Plus, like any form of writing, it's a way to explore and be creative and expressive.  Such stories for me -- even if they're too explicit or raw for some people to consider erotica rather than porn -- are as much about crafting something with my words about sex.  This is why, while I sometimes do masturbate after reading such stories, it's a rarity.  I find the writing process a sort of release in its own right much of the time, and see no point in seeking orgasm afterward.  It simply depends on my mood.

I also like to post my erotic stories online for others to read.^[1]  This is because I think they're awesome stories and I want to share them with other people.  I realize that this means that some people will be using my stories as "wank material."  I'm actually okay with that.  While I don't generally use my own stories to fuel my masturbatory fantasies, I certainly read others' stories for that purpose.  As such, I have no problems with the idea of someone using my stories for a similar purpose.  In some ways, I suppose I see it as a sort of compliment.  Plus, I also realize that once I release anything I write -- even non-sexual stories -- to the general public,  I have and should have no control how they take or interact with it.  In reality, their experience with my story does not alter my creative processes or my own experience of that process or the end product.

The sites I post my stories to permit my readers to offer feedback and otherwise interact with me.  In many ways, this is a nice feature.  It's always great to hear someone say that they loved one of my storie.  It's even better if they explain exactly what they love about the story.  (I had one guy practially rave about a creative seduction technique I used in one of my stories.)  I even welcome criticism and suggestions on how I could make a story better (though I certainly feel free to ignore the latter if I wish).  I even appreciate those comments that tell me someone just found a story I wrote "hot" or that it "made them horny."

One of the sites  I post stories to, however, also seems to allow for and in some sense encourage a kind of interaction that I don't appreciate.  In fact, I don't like it at all.  On that site, a small but regular number of readers contact me whenever they see me online in order to engage in cybersex with me.  And that's simply not something I'm into.  In fact, I find it quite bothersome.

I don't mind that people engage in cybersex, nor do I find anything inherently immoral about it.  However, I'm bothered by the fact that these people -- usually men, given my own sexual orientation and the nature of my stories -- seem to think that I'm interested in cybering with them simply because I write and share erotic stories.  And cybersex is not the same as writing an erotic story, at least not from my point of view.

For me, writing a story is a solo and deeply personal practice.  It's born out of my own relationship with the story.  By the time that the story reaches other readers, I'm "done" with it (barring those cases where I choose to pick the same story back up and play with it a bit more).  What the readers do with it at that point has nothing to do with me.

Cybering however is not a solo practice.  It's something that two (or possibly more, I suppose) people engage in for mutual creativity and titillation.  The assumption that because I share erotic stories I also want to cyber with a reader suggests to me that said reader has no respect for my own creative process and has assume that not only my writing, but my very existence is based solely on getting him off.

I have an issue with that.

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^[1]Before anyone asks, no I will not post any links here.  Those stories are linked to my real name.  So to keep my anonymity relatively intact, those stories will not be in any way connected to this blog.