Enjoying Pride Weekend

It's the tail end of Pride Week here in my town, and there are more activities going on than there are orgies in a bathhouse.  I've actually skipped all the "official" pride events so far.  I'm debating whether I want to go to the final, big blow-out event that's taking place in one of the local parks tomorrow.  I've gone in years past and it's pretty nice, not to mention a good opportunity to pick up new pride paraphernalia.  But at the same time, I usually go alone and while I certainly run into people there and chat briefly, it gets pretty boring for a lone wanderer rather quickly.

Mind you, I haven't spent the weekend being a hermit.  I spent most of this afternoon at Home Bar, sipping cheap vodka cocktails (vodka and cran, to be precise) and enjoying the burgers and hot dogs that Management and his partner were selling outside.  I spent a few hours going back and forth between having a drink inside and having something to eat outside and talking to the incredibly funny cooks.  Well, cook and server.  It's my understanding that Management shouldn't be allowed to get too close to an open flame.

I'm getting ready to head back to Home Bar now.  I want to go and see the various friends I know will be there, have another hot dog or burger, check out the nice eye candy, enjoy some good music, and possibly catch part of the drag show (though I haven't committed to that yet).  And I'm sure at some point, I'll go for my 30-60 minute long "midnight walk," which has become something of a tradition for me when I go out late at night.  (It's much more pleasant than trying to walk when it's sweltering, like it was this afternoon.)

To me, this seems like a much more pleasant celebration of Pride, spending it with the people I've gotten to know and build relationships with.  There will be plenty of laughs (and raunchy jokes), hugs, and who knows what else.  And unlike tomorrow's event in the park, there's no charge to get in.  I just have to pay for whatever I consume.

Healthy Attention Whoring?

I've been feeling like something of an attention whore lately.  I just feel like drawing as much attention to myself as possible.  I suppose part of that is an overcompensation from when I didn't talk about myself because I wasn't sure anyone found me interesting.  So now, my attitude is, okay if since I'm so interesting, why aren't you hanging on my every word?  Pay attention to me already!

I suppose is the long run, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I temper it with my usual charming and personable self, the side of me that takes a sincere interest in and deeply cares about other people, their lives, and their stories.  It's just a matter of a balancing act, I suppose.

Yeah, this is me right now.

That's one of the things that I admire about Management right now.  I've been spending a lot of time at Home Bar talking to him, and he seems to strike that balance.  He's extremely confident and will talk up his own abilities.  On another person, some of the things would come off as completely narcissistic.  And I suppose at times, he does come off a touch like that, himself.  But then, he balances it out by talking about the abilities and accomplishments of others with that same level of enthusiasm.  So while he comes off as thinking he's this great person -- and that's an opinion that I'd be hard pressed to argue with -- he tends to think of others as equally great.  He's not like Hot Pants, who tends to view everyone around him as lesser beings meant merely to reflect and bask in his awesomeness.

Plus, unlike both Hot Pants and Rumor Queen, Management has this incredible knack for expressing concern for other people.  Every time I stop in, if he can make the time (after all, he's running a business, which must come first), he sits down, asks me how I'm doing, and listens like he actually cares about the answer.

In the end, I want to find that same kind of balance.  I want to draw attention to myself -- preferably in healthy and natural-seeming ways rather than obnoxiously and awkwardly -- and build myself up so that people want to get to know me better while still managing to show reciprocal interest in those who are drawn to me and lift them up as well.  I just have to keep practicing.

And if I need to practice the self-promotion and attention-seeking more because I have the other part much more polished, that's perfectly understandable.  Right?