Writer Talk

Saturday night, I decided to skip going out to any of the bars.  I decided that I would much rather just go straight to the diner I usually go to afterward.  That way, I could take my laptop and work on my writing.  I've often sat there after spending an hour or so at the bar and thinking that it would be good writing time.  Quite frankly, though, I'm not willing to take my laptop to the areas where the bars are and leave it in the car.  I sure don't want to take it into one of the bars with me.  Having it with me during happy hour is one thing, but trying to keep track of it (or lugging it around on my person the whole time) when it's the late night crowd is another thing.

So I sat in my booth for over an hour, working on the novel.  I'm glad that I'm back to working on it and that it seems to be going so well.  After taking a break due to health issues, I was afraid that I had lost the thread of the story or my motivation.  Plus I had hit what I felt might be a bit of a lull in the plot (not that it's an action or suspense story to begin with), and I was concerned things were about to fizzle.  But this weekend, I felt like things started picking up again.  I'm more confident that I'll get a novel out of this yet.  Not sure how publishable it will be, but I'll at least get something worked out.  Besides, there's always the editing phase.

Of course, now that I'm writing (at least at times) at three different public venues:  Home Bar, the diner (which probably needs a code name), and Applebees (which I figure doesn't need a code name because there are hundreds of them).  I've decided I definitely like writing in public.  I think it's an atmosphere thing.  As weird as it probably sounds to most people, my house is just too quiet for me to write there most of the time.  Plus, at home, I have to deal with Hellcat's insistence that she needs attention, no matter what I'm doing at the time.  (I just can't bring myself to lock her out of the room I'm in.)  Oh sure, if I ignore her, she'll eventually settle down and nap, but then I start feeling guilty about ignoring her.

Running with the (other?) bears

As I had planned to, I went to the local bear event at Manly bar Saturday night.  I had a pretty good time, though I felt awkward as I often do.  I only knew like two other people who were there, and I don't know them very well.  I did approach them and ask them about mutual friends and struck up a bit of small talk, but that was about it.  Then they pretty much went back to talking to other people.  That's probably why I was never very close to them.  They and I never really seem to click.

Imagine a bar full of guys like this.

I also had a bit of an oddity that I ran into a friend (or possibly former friend) of Rumor Queen while I was there.  She walked up to me and called me by name and I was a bit surprised at first.  She looked familiar, but I couldn't place how I'd know her.  Then she told me that she "was" (her use of "was" rather than "is" was what left me wondering if they had a falling out) a friend of Rumor Queen.  The conversation was brief, but quite pleasant.  She asked if I was having a good time and I said yes.  Then she continued on her way to the women's room.

The other curious point of the night was the fact that I almost got the impression that some guy spent a good portion of the night checking me out.  He was with a group of friends and I was standing about fifteen feet away, enjoying my first cocktail of the night.  (Well, not counting the two I had during happy hour much earlier in the evening.)  I looked back toward the group and noticed he seemed to be looking at me. The moment I looked, he'd look away.  He kept doing this for about fifteen or twenty minutes.  I wasn't sure if it was my imagination.  Alas, he never came over to say hi (or sent over one of his buddies to see if I'd be interested, if he's too shy to take the plunge himself).  And as I've mentioned before, I'm just ready to let the other guy make the first move right now.  It's a shame, as he was pretty cute.  I'm guessing he was between ten and fifteen years my junior.

Overall, it was okay.  I'm hoping more people that I know will be there next time.

Gotta Get Out

Well, if I still needed a sign that my health really was improving, I got it last night.  At around 9pm, I was going stir crazy.  I was tired of sitting at home by myself and chatting online.  I wanted to get out and hang out with other people.  I wanted to mingle.  I wanted to flirt.  And getting lucky wouldn't have hurt my feelings, either^[1].

In the long run, I decided to stay home, though.  I'm planning to go out to Manly Bar tonight for the bear event they have planned.  Since going out two nights in the same weekend totally drains me and I'm already just starting to get back to feeling like I have energy, I chose to do the responsible, self-care oriented thing instead.

TMI Time!  B!  Definitely B!

I've started going to Manly Bar a bit more.  As much as I like Home Bar -- and I do try to go there from time to time to see some of my favorite bartenders and other friends I have there -- the crowd at Manly Bar is somewhat more my style.  Plus, as they tend to attract younger crowd, Home Bar tends to be filled with all kinds of drama and other immaturity.  I might actually be one of the younger guys^[2] at Manly Bar, in comparison.

Also, Management and his partner got out of the restaurant business, which is quite sad.  That means that the upstairs dining room is no longer open at Home Bar. The kitchen is still open and serves bar food downstairs.  But bar food is just bar food, so it doesn't have quite the same draw.  Plus it means I can no longer go in for a weekend dinner and sit at a quiet table and work on my writing.  Though I have worked on my writing during happy hour on weekdays at the bar before.  I may still do that.

At any rate, it means that I'm re-evaluating just how much time I spend at Home Bar and whether I might be better served by finding a new "regular" hang-out spot.  I may think about trying a coffee shop again.  It would certainly be good from a writing standpoint, but I don't do well at meeting new people at coffee shops.

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^[1]Hey, I'm a guy with needs.  And I haven't done anything since Christmas day, and that time wasn't entirely satisfying for me, either.

^[2]Some day, I may do a whiny post about the conflict between being attracted to younger guys and the frustration I feel with younger guys' antics.  The dynamic is really quite messed up.

Spicy is good, right?

Last night, I went to a nice restaurant that specializes in New Orleans style cooking.  I had been there before, but the woman who served me is someone I had never seen before.  We hit it off quite well, and I think I can count her among my "adoring fans" now.  As she was getting ready to take my order, she asked me, "What would you like from the menu?"  This question and the way she phrased it made me laugh, and I told her that I was impressed, because most people didn't ask such a specific question, which left me with plenty of room to give creative and not always appropriate (though no one has complained yet) answers.

Getting this reaction
from people is fun!

Apparently, this piqued her curiosity, because a couple times throughout my meal, she asked me if I wanted anything else, leaving off the qualifying phrase.  The first time, I shrugged it off as an amusing coincidence.  After all, it's much quicker and more efficient to just say "Do you want anything else?"  But then she came back a second time and asked the same question.  I blinked because I was pretty sure she emphasized the word anything this time.  I was still trying to decide if she was actually trying to set me up for one of my comments.

As an aside, I've never liked it when people do that to me.  I prefer to keep my zaniness 100% spontaneous and opportunistic.  The moment someone sets me up for a comment (especially in a way that's obvious), the whole thing feels forced and unnatural.  Plus I suddenly feel like I'm performing on command, which bothers me.

At the end of the meal, the young woman did confess that indeed, she was trying to elicit a response from me just to see what kind of things I said.  I turned to her and explained, "Well, usually if a server asks me if I want anything, I say something like, 'Well yeah.  But I'm pretty sure it would be illegal for you to provide me with a good looking guy.'"

She burst out laughing and exclaimed, "Oh my!  You are a spicy one!"  I just smiled and said thank you.  I'm sure that the next time she serves me while I'm there, it'll be an interesting experience for both of us.  But I love doing things like that.  It gives most people a laugh.  I think in a lot of ways, I think I sometimes end up saying the kinds of things other people would love to say, but are too shy or reserved to go out on that limb.

Fortunately, Hellcat has me pretty well trained when it comes to going out on limbs.

Moderation? What's that?

This week was a relatively quiet week.  Three out of the five weekdays, I came home after work and took a nap.  I guess I'm still tired from whatever I did to myself last weekend.  That or else I'm tired from the previous week, which was a constant run-fest for me.

Granted, I like getting out and having fun.  I'm glad I'm doing it more, because it's something I need to do.  I think I just need to find balance.  After all, I seem to have this pattern going:

1.  Realize I'm not doing anything but staying home.  Get sad.
2.  Decide to do something about it.  Start going out a lot.
3.  Tire myself out and either get sick or come to the hairy edge of doing so.
4.  Decide to stay in to get rested back up.  Find myself so tired that I stay in all the time until it becomes my normal pattern again.
5.  Restart the cycle at step 1.

If only one of these could help me
balance my various needs.

What can I say?  Colorful is a creature of extremes.  I'm endeavoring to change that, though.  So I'm trying to go out some nights and stay in other nights in the same week.  I know, this is probably a no-brainer for most people.  But like I said, I tend to go to extremes.  Moderation is a virtue I need to develop.  (That and patience, but I'm going to make that virtue wait!)  So this does involve some learning and practice on my part.

That's why I ended up deciding to stay in last night.  Originally, I was going to go to Home Bar at least to say hello to Management and the others.  But I just decided that I can and will see them tonight.  We can wait that long.  Especially since I stopped in there for dinner on Thursday.

Sweet Cynic was a bit disappointed, as we tentatively planned to go there together last night.  But to be honest, the thought of taking Sweet Cynic with me made the prospect of going out even less desirable.  In addition to the fact that it's hard to be around him when he's drinking, there's the fact that I can't come and go as I please when he's with me.  I've had more than one occasion where I've told him I was ready to go and he kept doing the "one more drink/one more minute/one more whatever" thing until I finally blew up and told him I was leaving immediately and that unless he wanted to find another way home, he better get in the car.

And that's not the kind of person you want to be around when you're trying to develop a sense of balance between going out and having a good time and getting the rest and quiet time your mind and body need.