Can I please slow down now?

I spent most of this past week on a business trip to sunny Orlando.  Before you congratulate me, please remember that this was a business trip.  For me, business trips mean spending just about every waking moment either at my hotel or at a customer's site.  (For this trip, those two things were actually on and the same.)  They also mean long hours (awake from 4am until 11pm on Wednesday, 6:30 am until 10:30 pm on Thursday and Friday.)

The one bright side was that I was able to stay an extra night.  I actually got done with work on Friday at around 3pm.  The office had booked my supervisor and I flights back home on Saturday.  He looked up available flights on Friday and decided to head home a day early.  He gave me the option of changing my flights as well or staying the extra night and come home on Saturday.

A single gay guy with a chance to spend an extra night in Orlando?  For me, that was a no-brainer.  (Alas, I was too tired to see if any other gay guys were in the area and interested in meeting up.)  Not that I did much, mind you.  I was pretty tired.  However, I did end up walking to a steakhouse that was just under a mile away from the hotel.  I had a pleasant time and just enjoyed the fact that I could relax and not have to rush around.  After all, those other days, I had enough time to shower when I got up before getting to work (or catching my flight in the case of Wednesday morning).  Then I had a bit of breakfast and lunch while working through the day.  About two hours before bedtime, I would go dinner with the people I was working with, then head back to my room and crawl into bed.  So being able to get dinner by 6 pm on Friday and then heading back to my room to get on my computer and watch a little television was a treat.

Plus, it turned out that I made the right choice.  My supervisor had nothing but problems on the trip home.  In fact, he ended up flying into a neighboring city and then having to take a taxi back home.  (I don't even want to know what the company is going to have to pay for that.)

Me, I had two pleasant flights after a good night's rest and plenty of time to get to the airport.

But I'm still tired.

Crazy cats, rest, and writing.

Hello!  I'm back!  Zombies didn't really get my brain.  Hellcat was just having a bit of fun there.  Or at least I was having fun, pretending to be Hellcat.  Though I still haven't figured out where this email receipt for a "Tuna of the month" subscription came from.

Not Hellcat, but I sure
recognize that look.

I was pretty tired last Thursday night, seeing as I was out late (being incorrigible, no less) and then had to get up extra early for an early meeting at work Thursday morning.  (I actually got excused from that meeting, so I actually gave up that hour or so of extra sleep for nothing, but oh well.) So I simply was too tired to write a blog post Thursday night.  Then I had a busy day at work at work.  By the time I found time in the afternoon, I just wasn't in the mood to try and be all philosophical.  From there, the post by Hellcat came into existence.

Speaking of Hellcat, she's the reason I'm tired today.  Well, part of the reason, at least.  The other  part of the reason is that I stayed up late last night.  When I finally decided to go to bed, Hellcat decided it was playtime.  Now here's the thing about Hellcat:  She has to be near me most of the time I'm home.  That means that if she decides that despite that fact that their six other rooms and a basement she could play in after I've gone to bed, she finds it necessary to rare and tear through my sleeping area.

Last night, it was bad enough that I decided that my best bet was to get out of bed, find her string, and play with her.  It tends to tire her out and calm her down more quickly.  So at sometime after two in the morning, i was standing in my upstairs hallway, dangling a bit of string for my murderous little muffin.  Is there any greater evidence of just how much I love her.  (Granted, my love for her didn't keep me from cussing her out.)

As such, I've been taking it easy again today, which is why this post is so late.  The good news is that I think I've gotten enough naps under my belt that I can go to the diner later tonight and work on my novel.  I certainly hope so.  I want to get one thousands words written tonight and another thousand tomorrow.  If I do, this will make a week when I got four thousand words written total.  To me, that's a great accomplishment.

The problem with problem solving

It's been a while.  I had a fun but somewhat rough weekend.  I did a bit of exercising -- more rigorous exercise then I've done lately -- on Saturday and it really threw my entire system out of whack.  I've been sore and coughing since, though I think I'm finally on the mend.  I did, however, decide to take a (unpaid unfortunately) sick day today to help speed up the last bit of the recovery.

Work is somewhat slow right now.  We're somewhat between phases of my current project, which means the amount of work I can actually do right now is somewhat limited.  That leads to long days of trying to make small amounts of work stretch as far as I can and look busy the rest of the time.  I hate not having anything to do at work, and not just because I worry that someone in management will begin to wonder what they are paying me for (though that doesn't help either).  If I'm going to be sitting at my desk at work, I want to be accomplishing something.  Or learning something.  Or facing a challenge.

Okay, puzzles are one "problem" I hate solving!

Learning and facing challenges is one of the reasons I went into my line of work.  It involves a lot of problem solving, figuring out what needs to be done, determining the best way to accomplish it, and organizing everything to do so in an efficient manner.  It's a job that centers around one of my favorite questions:  "How can I make this work?"

Of course, that's a great question and pursuit in a highly technical career where everything is under your control.  It's not such a great question or pursuit when dealing with relationships, friendships, or other situations where everything is not under your control, something I also used to do.  Often a huge factor in my codependency was that no matter what the relationship problem was, I was sure I could fix it.  Even if the problem was with the other guy, such as a vice, and he didn't want to change, I figured there was always a way to get him to change.  I'd find the magic (usually manipulative) formula that would get him to see that I was right so that we could get over the obstacle and work things into the perfect relationship I knew I can and should have.

The thing is, people aren't like machines.  There's no magic code that gets them to do exactly what you want -- and as I think about it, I wouldn't want there to be.  They have a mind and will of their own, and they're bound to exercise both.  So I've had to learn that not all relationship problems can be solved and in that domain, there really are obstacles that I can't overcome.

It never occurred to me until now, however, how the problem-solving nature of my career might have contributed to my previous approach to relationships.  It makes me wonder if there are other ways my work has influenced the way I interact with people and approach relationships.