Powerful Story

Joan Garrett shares the story of former minister Matt Nevels and how learning that his son, Stephen, was gay and dying of AIDS changed his life.  The whole article is moving and powerful.  I want to draw particularly attention to Matt's former church's response when Stephen came to live with his parents while he waited for the end:

Cards arrived, with reassurances about resting in God's will. But few hinted at the gay issue. Dr. Steelman sent three notes that Frances kept in a box with all the other condolences, but he didn't visit them or come talk to Stephen.

One of Dr. Steelman's cards read: "Someone mentioned to me yesterday that Steve's condition has declined rapidly. ... We are praying for both of you that God will grant you the needed strength to deal with your tragedy."

At the time, Stephen asked his father why no one from the church leadership visited. Matt didn't know what to say. He figured some people were afraid of touching his son. Maybe they were afraid any kindness could be translated as acceptance.

Actually, these church people should
not be called goats.  This guy is much
cuter than their awful behavior.

Many of us who have come out have felt the rejection of our former church families.  Those who would congratulate themselves for refraining from open condemnation would do to remember that simple silent distancing can be just as hurtful and destructive to someone who once believed you value them.

As for a church full of people who could not bring themselves to visit one who was sick and in misery and most certainly needed their love and support, allow me offer another quote, one that should be shamefully familiar to these church-goers:

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not."

Then shall they also answer him, saying, "Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?"

Then shall he answer them, saying, "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal."