Come back, wit!

Earlier this week, I was feeling unwitty and uncreative.  As such, not only did this blog remain silent and untouched, I made almost no Tweets on either of my Twitter accounts and made no Facebook updates (other than linking to articles I found interesting).  Hey, everyone's allowed to quiet every now and then.  Everyone's even allowed to have moments where they're not feeling creative or witty.

The problem is, I hate such moments.  Such moments are psychological and emotional torment on me.  I start to worry about whether I'll ever feel creative or witty again.  I start to wonder if I ever really was creative and witty to begin with.  Was I just kidding myself?  Am I fake, who is uninteresting in reality?  Is my sham finally over and exposed to the world?

I'm sure you can now see why my therapist zeroed in on my self-esteem problems so quickly when I was seeing her.

You see, I put a lot of stock in my creativity and wit.  I think -- and I think it's justifiable -- they are two of my greatest qualities.  I take pride in the fact that I can usually charm people with a quick-witted response or a rant that is so laden with hyperbole and other absurdities that people listening to me start cracking up.

So when I go through dry spells like earlier this week, I get worried.  I fear that I'm losing that part of myself, a part that I trade on regularly when it comes to social interactions.  Fortunately, the humor starts coming back eventually, proving that my fears are all for not.  But that doesn't change how dark and uncertain those times feel in the moment.